1. How obsessed does someone need to be…

    …to somehow find away around making the front page of my tumblr blank? 

    For now, this is defunct, as I am afraid of the amount of fixation on me being shown.

    This tumblr was basically private, for me to vent and keep track of my feelings with just a couple of my friends keeping an eye on me. 

    No matter how many times I change the url or disguise it, he finds it and makes gas lighting little comments about what was my reality for two years, and then a different but still awful reality after I left the situation I was in.

    Please find me on Facebook, if you’d like. Fairlith Harvey. 

    I’m at a loss. I feel so weary and afraid.  

     


  2. Ugh.

    I feel unclean. 

    He’s watching everything I do, so on Shannan’s advice I’ve made the front page of my blog blank. 

    And as I apparently am not entitled to privacy when documenting my journey to mental health, please enjoy the recent awfulness, if you’d like: http://camsinternetbrain.tumblr.com/

    Sure, that makes me a bitch. But only my followers can see it. Literally. And I only know maybe five of you IRL.

    "She keeps saying go away, go away. Where does she think I am? Last I checked I’m about 400 miles away from her." Ha, ha, ha. I mean… what the HELL? 

    I am so tired of not being able to make a move without him seeing it. I’m tired, I’m afraid, I feel marginalized, and sick, and confused. 

     I need help. I feel insane, watchful. I felt suicidal for the first time when he took all my passwords and started the threats and breaking-down of my self-esteem. 

    Now, I won’t do it, but the thought of not having to wake up to the psychological damage and constant undermining AGAIN are beginning to look pretty fucking swagtastic.  

    He’s still gas lighting. But at least now, unless he has a fake tumblr for watching me, he can’t see me anymore.

    I want a hug. I’m so afraid. Not that he’s blogging about me… but that he is still so fixated on fucking with me. That’s scary. 

     


  3. naamahdarling:

    homoeroticismforthewin:

    adventuresofcomicbookgirl:

    Looks like this essay was needed, so I went ahead and did it. Not sure I said everything I wanted to say, but I tried.

    So, there’s this girl. She’s tragically orphaned and richer than anyone on the planet. Every guy she meets falls in love with her, but in between torrid romances she rejects them all because she dedicated to what is Pure and Good. She has genius level intellect, Olympic-athelete level athletic ability and incredible good looks. She is consumed by terrible angst, but this only makes guys want her more. She has no superhuman abilities, yet she is more competent than her superhuman friends and defeats superhumans with ease. She has unshakably loyal friends and allies, despite the fact she treats them pretty badly.  They fear and respect her, and defer to her orders. Everyone is obsessed with her, even her enemies are attracted to her. She can plan ahead for anything and she’s generally right with any conclusion she makes. People who defy her are inevitably wrong.

     God, what a Mary Sue.

    I just described Batman.

      Wish fulfillment characters have been around since the beginning of time. The good guys tend to win, get the girl and have everything fall into place for them. It’s only when women started doing it that it became a problem.


    READ THIS I BEG OF YOU.

    FUCKING. NICE.

    (Source: ladyloveandjustice, via ibingeonbonbons)

     


  4. He

    He has taken to commenting on every post I make, in its own little post on his blog.

    He is watching me. 

    He needs to get a life, because I’m sick of him trying to run mine through fear. 

    He needs to realize I would never link anybody to his public Facebook profile, because I don’t care enough about his little life to bother, and also NO ONE WANTS TO LOOK AT VANITY SHOTS OF HIM IN A WIFE BEATER.

    He needs to remember who does what before he accuses me of stuff I never did. Stuff he did. I mean, that’s nuts. He needs a villainous day planner or something.

    _____

    Over the next two or so days, I’m going to decide whether to get rid of tumblr completely, because I’m tired of that energy-stealing sociopath watching me.

    In the meantime, what the hell, internet. Please find me on Facebook, if you’d like. ‘Fairlith Harvey’. I don’t mind posting a public link to that. :) I’ve looked in the face of crazy, and I doubt any of you can adequately bring the psychopathy to rival him.

    I offer you my Facebook because he can’t watch that, as much as I’m sure he’s burning to. Just send me a message with your tumblr url if you add me, so I know who you are!

    _____

    I was scared of his event company not doing as well as he’d hoped, because I was sure this would happen. Whaddya know, I was right.  

    'You're stupid, Fairlith. I was always smarter than you.'

    So how come you’re so predictable? 

    Go away.  

     

  5. shmeards:

    gods-nips:

    I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WEBSITE LIKE I CANNOT.

    I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT.

    Always reblog

    (Source: slendrman, via marvelousmerriment)

     

  6. littlemissmece:

    this man i cant even

    (Source: weasleysgotahowler, via dreadpiratecrowley)

     

  7.  

  8. viraemeia:

    bunnieswilltakeovertheworld:

    seilka:

    I’m sorry… I was laughing at this for 10 minutes straight. I can’t stop giggling. 

    I think it was written better this way

    I almost peed

    (Source: theamericankid)

     

  9. juniorbizarre:

    bellatrixisastar:

    askchangelgrace:

    catplanetcatplanetcatplanet:

    steve don’t just accept that bullshit

    that must have been some fucking witchcraft blue pulled to get that up there

    That look on his face

    “Fuck, whatever. My fucking salt talks to me. This is actually normal for me.”

    My fucking salt talks to me.

    this guy

    (via dreadpiratecrowley)

     

  10. perksofbeingeleanorcalder:

    disneyismyescape:

    aelynn:

    This one deserves its own post.

    why have charming and cinderella snatched one of merida’s brothers up?

    Alice looks like she’s re-living the rabbit hole

    (via marvelousmerriment)

     


  11. Sigh.

    There is no privacy. Jesus H. Motherfuckin’ Montez. Look, I just want to blog about Doctor Who and Disney and crushes on boys, OKAY?

    My ex-boyfriend’s blog was pointed out to me again today, with enormous alarm from the person who showed me. Oh, today… today, it’s all about me.

    I’m not having a tumblr war with you, C. Nor do I have to address the things you’ve said about me. And I didn’t give people your Facebook address, nor did I design a Facebook hack to ‘get’ you. I don’t want people to make your life harder. Use your reading comprehension. Look in a mirror. Realize what you are. Grow up.

    Go away, little insect. 

    However, for the edification of all:

    Saying you would take Geeks After Dark, which I started without you, when I just wanted to shut it down for EVERYONE=wrong.
    Copying my event format, which was my intellectual property=wrong.
    Copying my ideas=wrong.
    Physically assaulting me and telling me you were ‘educating’ me=wrong.
    Sexually assaulting me while I slept=wrong. 
    Insisting I do ‘bdsm’ with you when you flat-out refused to give me affection or sleep with me=wrong. 
    Cheating on me physically=wrong. 
    Cheating on me emotionally=wrong.
    Insisting on all my passwords to everything and reading every private message I sent or received=wrong. 
    Shouting at me upwards of three times a week=wrong. 
    Threatening me=wrong.  
    Making me do exercises so I’d be attractive to you=wrong.  
    Creating a fake Facebook profile to spy on me=wrong.  
    Grudge-fucking me=straight-up crazy town. 

    He’s quoting my tumblr on his, now. He’s not even pretending he doesn’t watch this blog. He’s making big, sweeping ‘boo too, people believe women because of feminism’ statements. 

    People saw him abusing me emotionally.

    The police took him away because things were getting physical.

    People saw/experienced him trying to find someone to cheat on me with him.  

    Dude, stop abusing women, and get some original ideas, and no one will write about or to you. 

    People got mad at you this year for the shit you pulled? People harassed you?

    Honestly, now you know what I felt like, living with you.

    I never asked anyone not to attend your events, to talk to you, do anything. In fact, because of my fear of you, I encouraged people to go to your copycat parties so you couldn’t spread more stories about me being ‘crazy’.

    And I sure didn’t start a blog dedicated to you. That’s your brand of obsession.  You have a blog dedicated to me. I mean, dude. Get off the internet. Go outside. 

    Leave me the hell alone. Stop stalking me, stop copying my shit (intellectual property is a real thing, read a book), and just live your angry little parasitic life and go away. 

    And maybe stop lying compulsively. People will find you a lot more credible if you don’t pretend all the funny pictures on reddit were taken by you.

    Anyway. 


    I want to take a tumblr hiatus, or make a new one he can’t find, but I really enjoy tumblr, the people I follow, the stuff I’ve reblogged. :/ 

    I guess I have some thinking to do. It makes me feel very uncomfortable to be constantly watched by a psychopath. But I also know he can’t really hurt me anymore.

    It’s still scary.  

    Say whatever you want, ex-boyfriend. You know what you did. You know that you can’t look away from my life. You know what’s real. 

     


  12. Psychological Shrapnel

    I am only interested in men who aren’t interested in me. They’re nice to me, they’re charming, but if I know in my heart they won’t love me, I fall desperately in love. 

    I HATE it. I try not to. I’m not really dating people… I do, a little, if I know they won’t stick around. If they seem really into me, I start losing interest.

    I fall in love with everyone who doesn’t want me. I miss my therapist. I am so broken. I am so lonely. I need help.  I don’t know what to do.

    Thanks, ex-boyfriend. 

     


  13. Okay, I really felt that. It really hurt my feelings. I’m really lonely up here.

     


  14. Ouch.

    1. Me: Hey, [name redacted]!
    2. Him: What?
    3. Me: What are you doing tonight?
    4. Him: Going to [name redacted]'s house.
    5. Me: Oh, that sounds fun.
    6. Silence: (is not filled with 'we could hang out another time, when are you free?)
    7. Him: Well, bye.
     

  15. im-mr-brightside:

    flameeliwood:

    hemospect:

    maybethings:

    defira85:

    neko-shadow:

    ow

    ow

    owowowowow

    puns hurt

    I am going to send every one of these to my brother one text message at a time and see how furious he is by the time he gets home

    Grooooooooooooooooooan

    SCREAMS

    WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE PUNS PUNS ARE THE HIGHEST FORM OF HUMOR THIS IS A FACT

    i read these out to my mum. she threw everything she could get her hands on at me and is now running to turn off the internet. 

    (Source: sara-in-space, via fereldentrash)